A tiny voice

The doctor comes after me with my armor and asks, "Are you...really alright?"
"I will be...just need some fresh air.", I reply, a little exhausted from the shock.
Eva takes the armor from the man and says, "Go back to the lab. I'll take it from here."
The doctor nods, turns around and heads back.

Eva sighs, "I'm sorry, Sirus. He's very...enthusiastic about his work."
"That's alright...I just want to get out of here...so, are you going to help me? Or are there any more strange places which make me throw up I just have to see?"
Eva shakes her head and says, "No...no more. And you're...you're sure you want to go? I'm really not comfortable with letting you go after...this."
"Eva, I was fine before I came here. This was the first time anything like that ever happened to me. So if anything, it's best for me, if I get out of here as fast as I can."
"But what if it happens again?! Out there?! Such a breakdown can get you killed."

I put both hands on Eva's shoulders. She flinches lightly to the touch, but I can see it in her eyes. Her worry is genuine.
I say, "I will be fine. I have been fine for over a year now and I'll continue to be fine."
"But what if you die out there?!"
Eva's question makes me flinch shortly, but the answer comes to me as easily as breathing and I say with a smile, "Then at least I'll die as a free man."
Eva opens her mouth to talk back, but closes it again without making a sound.

I say, "Eva, listen. I understand that you're trying to build something good here. And I know that you're really trying your best. But keeping the people cooped up like this, I think they'll eventually destroy each other. You know how bad it was when there was 800 people in a room meant for 500. Now we've got about...I don't know, 1000? 2000? Anyway, all these people fighting with each other over their place in this new world and, more importantly, this closed space. Robert may have managed to pacify the people with this concept of money for the time being, but how long do you think that's going to last? How long, until the money is completely distributed? How long, until the hoarders have collected everything? And what if the systems of the colony fail? How long do you think will the resources of the colony last?"
"Sirus...you...you're scaring me...", Eva replies, a little intimidated.
"Why? Because I'm telling the truth?"
"No...because you know all these things...", Eva replies, a tear in her eye.

I blink a few times and then realize that something strange is going on in my head. There's like a million different thoughts running through my head and while talking to Eva, it felt like all of these thoughts were my own, but now, as I reflect on them, they appear more and more alien to me and as I recognize them as alien, I notice how they're fading away.

I hold my head and say, "Something...something strange happened to me in there. And I know only one person on this planet who could figure out what is out there."
"...is this Nym really that smart?"
"At the very least she knows a lot more about the things in here than the lot of those guys in there, who are like children who just got their hands on new toys!"

Tears appear in Eva's eyes as she says, "Alright...follow me. We need to hurry, before your condition gets any worse...or...stranger."
Eva turns around and hurries down the corridor, my armor still in hand.
I follow after her, seeing how I don't know my way around here and while we're walking, I ask, "What did you mean by 'That I know all this'?"

Eva replies, a little out of breath, "That's a recurring theme in the closed sessions of the council. How we're going to fix exactly these problems. These discussions were kept strictly top-secret to not destabilize the society unnecessarily. So...how do you know all this? It's like you're somehow..."

A booming voice interrupts Eva, "Stop at once!"
While we were talking, we had arrived in a large chamber. A number of armored and armed men are standing in front of a massive door.
I ask quietly, "Where are we, Eva?"
"The main shutter. Next to the shuttle bay the only entrance to the colony. I knew it was guarded, but not by this many...something's not right here."

Eva turns towards the armed men and asks, "We wish to leave. Make way."
One of the guards says, "We have express orders to not let anyone or anything through."
"My name is Eva Maria..."
"Oh, they are aware who you are, Eva. But they will still not let you through.", a familiar voice says from behind us.

We turn around and Robert is standing right there behind us. He's wearing an armor similar to the one of Eva and he wears at least 2 weapons, one of them being a stun gun.

"Hey, Robert.", I greet him.
Robert glares at me and the look in his eyes scares me. I've seen creatures, wonders and monsters, but the look in his eyes scares me. For those aren't the eyes of a man any more. Those are the eyes of a feral animal on the hunt. And we are his prey. And once again, I don't know how I know all this. It's like there's a tiny voice in my head, telling me all these things, all at once.

"What is the meaning of this? This is not a prison any more, anyone..."
"Eva, step aside. This is between him and me."
"No, I won't. Do you really think I will let this stand?"
Robert draws the stun gun from the holster and puts it against Eva's forehead, "What makes you think I'm giving you a choice?"
"Robert, have you..."
"My name is not Robert! I am the master and you will address me as such!"
I whisper, "What's his problem?"
Eva replies equally quiet, "Do you remember the trial?"
"Wait, he's still hung up about that?!", I ask, louder than intended.

Suddenly Robert swings the stun gun around and points it straight at my temple, "Don't dare to speak so casually of the past. It is all that we have left in this world."
I think, 'Yup...insane...and he's the leader of the colony. I guess it's true what they say...you don't have to be crazy to make it here...but it helps.'

And again, there's this tiny voice, telling me all sorts of things. About the men standing behind us. About the man standing before me. Their past. Their secrets. I don't know how much of this is true, but I have feeling that it will be the only way to get away from here in one piece.

Right now, it doesn't matter what's wrong with me, but if we are to make it out of here, I'll have to use whatever I can. They want a monster? That they can have.

I turn around and say to the men standing at the exit, "Make way. Or else."
"Or else...what?", Robert asks for them.
"Or else? There's no telling what else. Didn't you know? I'm infected with some sort of alien matter. Sure, I got out of quarantine, but how much can your gaudy little devices really tell you? How much do you really know about me? You call me 'the survivor', but the world out there is a strange place with all kinds of unimaginable things. And either you let me go now...or else."

I hear the clicking of the stun gun getting set to a higher level and Robert asks, "Again...or else what? Just in case you're forgetting something...I have the gun."
"...Robert, do you really think, that I haven't been through worse than a stun gun?"
"Don't be so damn smug, Sirus!", Robert yells and moves his gun in front of my face.
A big mistake as I teach him. I grab his arm, pull it down, twist it behind his back and hold my spear to his throat. Eva shrieks out in surprise and unrest goes through the men behind me as many of them point their guns at my back.

I ask him, "Now, can we deal with this like civilized people or do I really need to slit your throat with this here? Believe me, it wouldn't be the first blood spilled on it and it won't be the last. Now...all I want is to leave the colony. Open that bloody gate and let me go and nobody needs to get hurt. Okay?"

Robert squeals, "Open the fucking gate! Open the gate!"
Eva pleads, "Sirus, let..."
"Eva, you stay out of this. As he said...this is between him and me."

And the tiny voice keeps on talking in my head, telling me all these things. It makes it difficult to think straight. But none of this matters right now, if only this stupid tiny voice shuts up and I sure hope that it'll stop once I leave the colony.

As the door opens, I toss Robert aside and ask, "See? Now was that so hard?"
I turn around to the men and tell them, "Get out of my way."
The men still point their guns at me and Eva asks with a pleading tone, "Sirus, what...what happened to you?"
"The world, Eva...the world happened to me. And I think it's best if it doesn't happen to you too. So...thank you for everything...but this is good bye."

I keep on walking, completely ignoring Eva's pleads, Robert's cries of pain and the confused chatter of the men before me.

I just keep on walking, trying to ignore the tiny head in my voice too, but it just won't shut up. As I keep on walking, the men fearfully back away.
As one touches me, a flood of pictures runs through my head and it feels like my head is going to explode, which is why I push him away, far more forceful than I had intended.

But I keep on walking, towards the fresh air, towards the shore, towards my freedom.

However just as I want to cross the threshold, I feel the familiar burn in my back, as the high voltage of the stun gun runs through my body.

As I fall, I look back and see Eva holding her stun gun in both hands, tears streaming down her face. And finally, for the first time ever since this madness began, the tiny voice in my head shuts up.